Quite a few years ago I was something of a sports’ widow.
My gorgeous husband was fit, lean and competition toned which meant that there were often three of us in the marriage.
Me, Him and Sport.
And the outcome of that was very often I’d be at home with the kids, while Dave was battling it out in the sporting arena.
I often wondered if he was really battling it out or just loving it (and getting loved back by feel good chemicals like Serotonin!)
Anyway I wrote this ‘doggerel’ poem which depicts Squash as a very demanding mistress.
It’s a little sad though, because although the poem is humorous Dave had to give up Squash in the end due to sports related wear and tear… However, the good news is … he’s now a bicycler!
Hope you raise a smile … and why not tell me in the comments if you’ve ever been a sports widow; golfing, tennis, football, soccer, rugby widow or whatever.
FOR THE LOVE OF SPORTS
I married Adonis, or so I thought
Until I discovered his first love was sport.
His body was beaut but he kept it that way
With Squash as his mistress … at least twice a day.
Physically spent he’d return home to me
And all he was fit for was watching TV.
Oh Squash was wily, she begged and beguiled
Took him away from his wife and first child.
Batted her eyelids with each stroke and swing
And mopped at his brow with air on the wing.
She coached and praised his volley and boast
Assured him she loved him by far the most.
So, sweating, desiring he gave Squash his all,
Did what she urged him, eyes on the ball.
Lusting and gasping he leapt round the court,
Beating off young bucks in battle hard fought.
Drive! Run! Attack! Squash was his, his alone,
She had wild impact on his testosterone.
She smooched, she panted as he brandished his racquet,
Excited often to shout or curse ‘F—k It’.
In time I was pitied by friends far and wide
As they acknowledged me left out, denied.
But I had my comeuppance one day in the summer
When Squash pulled a muscle … a terrible bummer.
Victory beckoned, I realised I’d won,
Mistress Squash bowed low to wife, home and son.
She withdrew quite suddenly bored, tired and tried
And finally, thank goodness, Squash lay down and died.
Over to you Lifestylers ….