For those of us over 50, the words ‘sexual revolution’ will probably still ring with meaning, and I read an interesting post at The Hoopla recently entitled, “Is Ten Times a Year Really enough,” and it got me thinking particularly about the menopause and sex drive.
Let’s face it, those of us of a certain age were the first generation given the freedom of using the Pill and sex before marriage, and sex for love or fun rather than just procreation became the norm.
And I think probably we took being freed from many sideline pressures totally for granted, and believed, as I’m sure all young people do, that sex and our bodies would never change.
But women are never truly free
In The Hoopla I read that in Victorian times a woman who loved sex would be classified as mentally disturbed, while today if your libido runs low you’ll be labeled as sexually dysfunctional.
So pills and potions and hype from Pharmaceutical companies geared to make a humungous bob or two out of us are there to change us into what we ‘should be’ or ‘feel’ however we really are.
Too much or too little libido – they’ll be onto it, don’t you worry.
But when we’re over 50, do we worry, or don’t we, you know … about our libido? Too much, too little, are we normal – or have we given up on all that?
I saw a cartoon the other day which pictured an old man in the Dr’s surgery asking for Viagra, while his aging wife was in the surgery next door and the female doctor was dishing out potions and hormonal remedies to help prevent sex from being painful.
So who’s kidding who?
It’s a funny old world.
Menopause and sex drive and a youth-centric society
I don’t like labels, and everyone is different, especially after menopause but we don’t talk about such things very much as mature women.
There’s no ‘Cosmopolitan Magazine for over Fifties” is there? And we are so past spilling all, Sex in the City style, over a few drinks.
But the fact that as a demographic we are sidelined by magazines is a shame, because it’s hard enough dealing with a body that sags and a memory that goes AWOL without feeling you should conform to the norms of a youth-centric society when it comes to sex which is paraded titillatingly in front of our eyes in so many magazines, advertisements and newspaper headlines.
Being told what’s normal
Sorry Cosmopolitan I don’t like you any more, you are too forceful and bossy and young. And anyway, I don’t know if I ever really liked you or if you ever really helped me. I think you just made me feel inadequate when I was younger. How many orgasms was I meant to have in half an hour?
To think that sometimes I’d look at my friends and in quiet moments wonder what they were doing in the sack (sorreeee!), and how often was normal, and what was ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in bed, before reading next month’s lead article in some womens’ magazine or other only to be told something else.
Did you do that too?
Pfffffttt! I’ve had enough of being told what’s normal. Thank goodness for the sense that comes with age.
I’m still standing.
I can still make the best of my (ahem) attributes.
And I applaud my body for whatever it’s capable of after 55 years of a helter skelter ride which has included being part of a sexual revolution,as well as adoring, Mick Jagger, Donny Osmond and David Cassidy from afar, and watching Olivia Newton John strut her stuff in a tight black bodysuit. Hell yeah!
Gee, if we’re over fifty we have a swathe of awkward memories, most of which will remain locked in the vaults of memory forever.
Make hay while the sun still shines
After a life of taking precautions and now free of the risks of pregnancy we are technically free, so I reckon now the kids have left home and if the dog has died we can make hay while the sun shines, so to speak, if that’s ok with us. On the other hand if hormones have gone haywire and libido is scant then surely we are old enough and wise enough to find ways to deal with it?
Either way, we shouldn’t be pushed by the media, or pressured by pharmaceuticals, or lambasted by a society that’s consumed by the ideals of youth and sex.
Ultimately though, women have an inkling that there’s probably more to life than wrinkle free skin and rampant sex multiple times a day for a hundred years, whatever the boys are fed via the media and current pop culture (let’s face it, sex sells).
And if that’s what the boys want (although there’s increasing evidence that they don’t) then they’d better strap the ditsy 22 year old bimbo onto the back of a Harley and disappear in a puff of smoke.
I reckon that women of a certain age are less likely to be bonking like rabbits, but more likely to head to a health spa somewhere exotic (with exquisite cocktails) and take with them their own loving, older man of good wit who knows a thing or two – about how to treat a woman, about ‘doing it’ and especially how to give a good massage 😉
Normal as normal gets
Joking aside, and at the end of the day I think it’s important to remember … If you’re lucky enough to be in an established loving, relationship relax, make the most of it, whatever that means for you.
Don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise – especially not Cosmopolitan or the Pharmaceuticals.
Come on … tell me (not your most intimate details) what’s your take on the topic? As Baby Boomers are we the forgotten demographic, are we preached to, what do we need, is there enough useful advice out there about sex, lust, love and hormones after 50, or don’t we care any more?
One of my friend’s joked the other day – “Menopause consists of two words. Men and Pause.”
However, I’m betting not everyone agrees with that thought either.
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Until next time,