I’ve just had 10 basic, one hour internet and social media workshops that I was meant to be facilitating cancelled.
Bummer!
Were they too expensive? Nooo. They were heavily subsidised, and participants only had to pay around $5 for each session.
Who were they for?
Seniors. In a target age range of over 60.
I thought there would be quite a few people around this age, living in the Regions who hadn’t had access to internet learning. I thought many would be keen to learn the rudiments and get online – like my Mum, who’s 85 – she loves being on Facebook to keep in touch with her grandchildren.
Well only 3 people signed up. So either this area of the South West is full of already computer savvy seniors or they’re just not interested. And if it’s the latter, that’s sad.
As much as I have a love/hate relationship with the time the online world steals from my real life, the truth is I’ve made so many friends online who I wouldn’t otherwise ever have met. My old age will not be lonely, even though we’ve travelled around the world like rolling stones, leaving friends on all four corners.
So much socialising is done online these days, isn’t it, and so many new friendships are made online too. The internet has become part of our social structure. If you grow old not knowing how to use it, I think you’re missing out on a social life that might become appealing when you become less mobile or real-life friends die off or stop visiting.
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The other side of the coin
For the younger generation, there’s a flip side.
I read an article the other day decrying the new ways of dating for our children’s generation – about how easy it is now to date via the internet using Apps like Snapchat and how it spoils you for commitment because it’s all too easy. How you’re always looking for the ‘next best thing’ and not being grateful for what’s under your nose in the real world, warts and all.
Basically the article suggested that everyone’s looking for the perfect life and perfect happiness and thinks they can find it – because look it’s displayed in big bright shiny pictures on Facebook, Instagram or wherever and perfect lives are tweeted out in 140 perfect shiny characters on Twitter. No one appears to be having rows or disagreements or looking less than perfect – so why should you – your life must be wrong in some way? Which is a terrible way to view the world.
So yes, I agree. There is an ugly side to the internet and the way we make friends or ‘frenemies’ too.
Back in the day
Back in 2007 I was writing freelance features for magazines and newspapers in South Africa and I vowed I would never join the fledgling blogger phase and write for free. Anyway, I disliked the whole social side of the internet, and Facebook or was it Facecloth, seemed stupidly intrusive.
I looked at the famous, “Dooce” blog (Heather B Armstrong) – was she mad? Getting fired from her job for blogging about ‘water cooler gossip’ in the workplace. Fired for writing for free basically. Duh. Why did she blog for no payment when she was previously a well-paid web designer and had such great words in her arsenal that she could surely be a magazine columnist and possibly command a royal ransom, I questioned?
Little did I know. But by now she probably does (know) – because she’s famous and no doubt rich.
At the time I didn’t get it
Anyway I was having none of it, and I stated rather too self righteously for my own good that writing for free wasn’t for me.
Then after a very self conscious dabble with Facebook I stopped any online engagement once my kids found out I’d friended them because they were Horrified.
Then came the GFC.
Freelancing gigs became harder to get. We moved to Australia. My contacts and work dried up. I began writing freelance travel features for The West Australian travel magazine, but they became harder and harder to win and someone said:
“Why don’t you start a blog?”
WHAT!
And guess what? I did. And I’ve never looked back.
But to cut a long story short the crux of the matter is this.
[Tweet “I had to give something up (that was failing) in order to find something else (that could blossom)”]
… and along with it came a whole lot of new friendships.
When I began blogging in 2010 there was no payment and I had no idea how my hours of toil could be monetised. These days however, I’m a little wiser but the best bit is that from being online I’ve made the most wonderful friends of all ages who have similar interests.
The beauty of online friendships I think is that you can ease your way into them. It’s not like when you meet a new person for coffee and feel obliged to say, “Shall we do this next week too then?” and then after some more chat you find out ‘next week’ that actually your values and interests are polar opposites and you know it’s not going to work out.
Online it’s different. Especially I’ve found via blogging.
That’s because before you spend time glamming up to go out and meet new friends you can actually find out a bit about what they are like (and what they like), what their interests are and the sort of people they might hang out with. You can have a quick conversation with them in a thread you’re following in the comments section, or compliment them on something they’re wearing – then go out and buy it yourself the next day 😉
It’s a friendship that grows quite organically, until one day you get the chance to meet up in real life, and you probably do
And you know what?
You find you really really like them. Because all the friending prep has been done before you’ve even met.
Tip: In this post I’m referring mostly to online female friendships, but no matter who you’re meeting always play safe … tell a real life friend or relative where you’re going and when, and make sure you meet up with your new online friend somewhere public like a restaurant or cafe.
The other good thing about online friendships is that you can keep them going, even if you’re having a bad hair day or you have the ‘flu. If you go travelling for 3 months it doesn’t matter that you can’t join your friends for a barbie, because you can keep in touch by commenting on the barbie you missed and posting pics about your experiences via Facebook, Instagram or whatever.
Plus, we’re often so busy in our everyday lives that real life friendships suffer. But if real life friendships cross the digital airwaves you can still keep people in the loop and keep in touch with their news until you find time to meet up again.
I say you need online friendships, as much as offline friendships in 2015 and beyond.
What do you think?
Today I’m going to give a shout out to some amazing bloggers who I’ve first met online, and then met in real life, with whom I’ve formed lovely and interesting friendships. If I’ve missed anyone out, please yell! You know, it’s hard enough for me to remember names at all these days 😉
Caz & Craig – yTravelBlog
Jenny – A Taste of Travel
Amanda – Not a Ballerina
Kelly Exeter – A life less frantic
Christina Butcher – Hair Romance
Michaela –Rocky Travel
Raychael – Mystery Case
Andrea – Fox in Flats
Nikki – Styling You
Annabel – Get in the Hot Spot
Seanna – Sydney with Kids
Janet – Middle Aged Mama
Rachel – Redcliffe Style
Pam – Travelling Bag
Rae – I opened my mouth and it ran away with me
Linda – Journey Jottings
Nicole – Bitten by the travel bug
Vicky – Fashionable Mum
Malinda – The Style Within
Rhonda – Rhonda Chapman Copywriter
Jules – Zippy Zappy Life
Glennys – The Ponder Room
Lisa – Mummy Manifesto
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Farewell 2014
How true, Jo. I have loved meeting so many like-minded people, and not just in the travel blogging world. There’s a real camaraderie amongst bloggers, I think because we all know how isolating it can be… especially if you work from home, so when we meet people we connect with it’s blissful. But I will always have a soft spot for some of the amazing travel bloggers I’ve met over the years, those who I now call really good friends. Hope we can meet up one day again soon. It’s been a while!
Hi Linda, I know we are so lucky. The camaraderie is wonderful. I need to add you to the list, even though we’ve only met once, I can’t wait to meet up with you again soon. Maybe problogger this year?
I’m so grateful for finding blogging. I’ve met and made the most amazing friends because of it. It just blows me away how kind and supportive my online blogging friends are and I have adored getting to meet so many of them on our road trip. We loved spending time with you in WA and meeting Dave and for both of you to be so warm and kind to us and our girls. They adored you both.
Ahh, it was so lovely to spend time with you all too. I wish it could have been longer. I miss you and Craig and your wise ways and spirited hears, and I so miss the sound of the girls’ laughter and chatter. They are adorable. Go well, and here’s a cheers to keeping in touch and meeting up again soon.
This was a thoughtful article Jo. I’ve gotten to know so many great people through blogging, but have not actually met any of them in person. I look forward to meeting you one day in the future 🙂
I think the great thing about meeting people on the internet is that people with eccentric and obscure interests can always find other people the same, whereas in the past they may have felt isolated and bored. And if you ever move to a new city or country, the internet can be a great way to find out about meetups, courses and events where you can meet people with similar interests. It’s also so good for keeping in touch with old friends including the ones scattered all over the world. I know back in the day people wrote more snail-mail letters, but that’s nothing like keeping up to date with life events and photos in real time.
Hi Bonny, yes, yes and YES! It’s so wonderful how we can stay in touch with people via the internet, and meet up with people who have similar interests. Yes, can’t wait to meet you one of these find days too 🙂 Thanks for popping by today.
I’ve actually just been marvelling at my own online friends that have become offline friends, and some of my best friends at that; so it was nice hearing your thoughts. 🙂
It’s such a pleasure to have met you and be able to catch up with you all over Australia. 🙂 I hope we keep meeting up at conferences and maybe share another adventure or two together (Magnetic Island was fantastic fun!)
xox. Hope we cross paths soon!
Hi Nicole, I really hope we keep on meeting up in 2015 too 🙂 xoxo
Oh yes, on line friendships are oh so wonderful and oh so important –
I wonder where the course for the seniors you were offering was being advertised – Not on line I hope lol
Haha Linda! No not online! Perhaps not enough?
I hope to get to a blogging conference one day so I can meet up with some of the lovely people I have met on line. Blogging certainly is a great way of communicating with people from all over the world.
Hi Jan, I hope you get to a blogging conference soon too – are you thinking ProBlogger this year? I’d love to meet up with you as I think we have a lot in common 🙂
Thanks Lily, so glad you enjoyed it. Yes, it’s great how the two world’s collide now whereas in the past they were much more separate I think.
This was such a very lovely blog post! I really enjoyed reading it and it’s so true how we meet many people from our online world in person. I’m a Beauty Blogger & Youtube Vlogger and i’ve meet so many ladies at the makeup shows and then ended up taking vacation trips together. I think this upcoming 2015 beauty cruise will be the ultimate for bringing women in beauty together from all around the world.
Thanks Jo for a lovely blog. In many ways it is like writing to a pen pal as some of us probably did years ago although now we have the advantage of speed, photos and the ability to share with so many, plus emoticons! So glad you made the decision to change what you were doing and start doing something different to change your results. Looking forward to many more blogs!
Hi Bernadette! Yes, it is like having a pen pal in many respects and as women of a certain age I guess we all relate back to that very well – it’s just metaphorically, like having a pen pal on steroids these days! Thank you for your comment. As I met you in person before blogging I coudn’t really include you in this post, but rest assured I’ll find away lovely lady!
All so true Jo. Blogging saved me from myself and helped me to take a leap of faith out into the blogosphere, creating a whole new life and new friendships from all over the world. I really hope to meet you in person someday – we have so much in common!
Hi Kathy, yes you like Carolyn are someone that I’ve ‘spoken’ to so much over the net, and have yet to meet in person. I hope 2015 is the year we get to catch up – as you say we have so much in common 🙂
Lovely post, Jo. Like you, I often curse the time that the internet ‘steals’ from my ‘real’ life but I also have met some wonderful people, both bloggers and readers, via blogging. I’ll have to make 2015 the year I get to ProBlogger (or to WA) so that I can meet you and some of these other lovely ladies in person!
Thank you Carolyn – yes I think I should have included a section of online friends I want to meet! So thank you for popping by and commenting. I shall find a way to link to you another time, but I sooo want to meet you this year. Yes, maybe Problogger or perhaps over here – that would be nice too 🙂
A great post Jo. At times when I feel that blogging is getting too hard, it is the people I have met online who get me through and make me realise that if it stopped, I’d miss them terribly. Thanks for the shoutout Jo and for being a great friend on and off the internet
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I think we both feel the same way about blogging, Jenny 🙂 And thank you for being such a fun and interesting friend too x
Hello Lisa and thanks for popping by 🙂 I’ll change your blog link. And yes, will let you know when the next Perth blogger catchup is 🙂 Look forward to seeing you soon 🙂
Thanks Jo for the shoutout, blogging is a funny beast, full of highs and lows but you are right, you have to let go of the negative to find the positive. Let me know when the next Perth blogger catchup is, I would love to meet you all again. (PS, now at http://www.lisaberson.com not MummyManifesto) xxx
That’s a pleasure my rumiliscious-roomie of the last two years! Here’s to our next Problogger shenanigans wherever they may be and meet-ups in Perth too 🙂
Oh Jo, what a wonderful post, and I’m so happy that blogging introduced us. How else would I have had the best roomie ever the last two years at Problogger?! Among many other lovely moments. Online-turned-real-life friendships are so wonderful and like you say you are already basically sure you are friends before you actually meet. Love it! Thanks so much for including me xxx
Awww Jo,
You are such a gorgeous lady and I’m so happy to be included in your list of new found friends! I’m hoping we can catch up a bit more this year. This really is such a beautiful post ♥
Love Malinda
Ahh, thank you Malinda! I’m so glad I met you last year and yes, let’s keep the real life stuff happening this year too 🙂
So totally agree Jo. I’ve found my online blogging friendships so important, sometimes when the family and your ‘realife’ friends don’t get it, your blogging friends know just what you’re talking about. It’s also great to know that if you’re in their area, anywhere in the world, they’re keen to welcome you. Thanks for the inclusion 🙂
Yes, it’s great to know we can call on each other if we’re in another blogger’s neck of the woods, as we’ll probably be greeted like long lost family, isn’t it Pam. Hope to catch up with you some more in 2015.
Beautiful post Jo, and I’m so glad you started blogging! The best is when we can take our online friendships into the real world and meet up xx
Thanks Christina 🙂 Yes, crossing the great divide into the real world is rewarding and so much fun x
I feel so blessed to have met so many amazing people though blogging – people like you! And I’m honored to be honored here. What I like about blogging friendships is that when you meet you can go deep fast and skip the chitchat because we get to know each other so well through our writing. It creates deep friendships fast and that’s a beautiful thing 🙂
That’s such a good point, Annabel. Life’s just too short and too rushed for idle chit chat unless you’re standing at the supermarket checkout. Online friendships cut to the chase much quicker. I’m so glad too that our paths crossed all that time ago now.
Great post Jo, blogging has its pluses no doubt about that. I wonder if your group are just too afraid of technology or trying something new. I can’t get my father to own a mobile phone so I can annoy him on a regular basis very frustrating. Thanks for including me I value our friendship
I value our friendship very much too Rae, and thank you. Yes, perhaps there was the big Fear – perhaps that was it and I misread it.
I get this. Sometimes you meet people that could be potential friends but going to meet for a coffee may seem a little too intimate. Instead you can chat and laugh on facey which is a lot less confrontational, especially for shy people.
Thanks Jo xo
So true Alice. We can make friends slowly on social media and it’s not at all confrontational, whereas sitting right in front of someone is, and I think if we meet in real life for the first time we kind of feel a commitment to try and make it work when maybe it’s not going to. Whereas on Facebook etc you can take your time and meet up in real life when you have a fair idea of how that person might look, act and even think.
I’ve met some wonderful folk through blogging, I just wished some of them lived in my neighbourhood so I could actually catch up with them in real life occasionally. Most of my friends from the “real world” really don’t get the whole blogging caper!!!
Hi Janet, yes it would be great if we all lived close – but then we’d probably never get any blogging done 😉
Hi Raych, Thanks so much, and can’t wait for more blogger catch ups like the one you so valiantly organised at Kookery. I shall link to your blog and not business page pronto, and mention that you were the organiser at Kookery, which I should have done in the caption. Agh this mind of mine.
What a gorgeous piece, I’m hoping to host more intimate blogger catch ups like the one at Kookery this year.
I noticed you’ve found and added the link to my VA business page (which should be in construction mode) rather than the blog address: agentmysterycase.com, it’s one of the many things on my blogging to do list as soon as the girls are back at school.
Looking forward to catching up with you soon.
Hi Nikki, aha you see I still have some dark secrets 😉 I’m really glad I made the decision to begin blogging though.
Hey, Jo. It’s always a pleasure chatting with you. And your travels inspire me to plan. I, too, enjoy getting to know people online before meeting offline. It makes things less awkward.
Hi Rhonda, it’s been lovely chatting with you too. I hope we’ll see much more of each other this year 🙂
I’ve only ever known you as a blogger Jo! Well done on making that decision. Social media is the ultimate connector.
Great post Jo. Totally agree, it takes while to decide to step into the world of blogging but once you do it’s addictive and allows you to meet some wonderful people. So pleased to have caught up with you last time you were in town. See you soon. Glennys
Thank you Glennys. Yes, here’s to catching up again with you very soon 🙂
I’m so glad you found blogging Jo because you make the Aussie blogging community a better place. I love having you as a friend xx
Thanks Kelly 🙂 And I have to say how lucky I was to be welcomed with so many lovely open arms – like yours too 🙂